In this post C.J. Mehaney challenges pastors to live out the Biblical calling of being a huband and father. I’m going to ask my wife these questions he suggested. What about you other married guys out there?
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Our teaching on this topic will only be as effective as our personal example. Modeling precedes teaching. Biblical instruction cannot be divorced from personal example. We must provide our churches with a genuine (not perfect) model of biblical masculinity. It is possible to skillfully teach Genesis 1-3 or Ephesians 5 and yet neglect to apply these passages to our lives. So, let me ask you: Where and how are you going to demonstrate biblical manhood to your wife and children this week? What difference is your complementarian position going to make in your life and for those you love, lead, and serve? If I spent the week with you, would your conviction about biblical masculinity be obvious?
Gentlemen, here is a gift you can give to your wife this week. Set aside a few hours of uninterrupted time, and ask her to honestly evaluate your personal example of godliness and your leadership in the home.
I dare you to ask her this question:
Where do I need to grow in serving and leading you?
For bonus points, ask this question:
Where do I need to grow in serving and leading the children?
This one conversation could initiate dramatic changes in your life.
After you’ve talked to your wife, I would encourage you to relate the details to a fellow elder, pastor or friend. Invite their questions and observations and make yourself accountable to them for application. This step will weaken pride and cultivate humility. Because God gives grace to the humble, this is a very smart thing to do. In fact, it would be stupid not to, since God opposes the proud. So, let us avoid being mere advocates of the complementarian position. By the grace of God we must be functional complementarians, and this must be evident for all to see.