The Man in the Shadow of Adultery

Tonight I read a powerful essay from Internetmonk on Adultery. It is written to men and is a must read for you guys. We all need a wake-up call on this issue, so if you are a married guy please take the time to read it and embrace the transforming power of the gospel that will strengthen you to remain faithful in your covenant marriage. Below is the excerpt and here is the entire essay.

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David is looking at Bathsheba, and he is sexually stimulated. He sends messengers to her home. She arrives and he orders those men away. He takes her to his chamber.

At what point is this mysterious? Nathan was right: The rich man took the poor man’s one sheep while awake, sober and rational.

Men, that sexual stirring you feel when engaging a co-worker in intentional conversation? That laughter over the slightly off-color humor? That extra email, voice mail or visit to the cubicle? That unnecessary phone conversation? That intentional proximity to a lunch table? That extra attention to a problem? That intentional “pastoral” call? That willingness to listen? That second glance? That touch on the arm? That nod and smile? Those assurances of friendship? That promise to “pray” and be there?

What in hell are you doing? (And I mean that. Don’t edit for the church ladies, please.)

If the above paragraph seemed a bit obsessive, I’m sorry. By age 50, you should be able to write it yourself. Actually, you should be able to write a much longer one.

There is more that could be said about the later actions and feelings, when the other party is joining in, secrets are shared, plans are made, more lies are told and the whole business takes on a life of its own. But by that time, the mortal damage has often been done. I want to gain your attention now, early on, when there is much more hope for genuine repentance and healing.

You know what is happening, and you know that it is the edge of something completely dangerous. You are taking steps- baby steps, but steps- away from the one-heartedness you promised. You promised to be a one woman man. She is counting on you to keep that promise. She is counting on you to be better than other men; to be devoted to her through everything. And now you are looking, talking, returning, even touching, with another woman in mind. You have put yourself above your marriage. You have put the momentary excitement, the eventual fantasy, the immoral boost to the ego above your love for your wife.