Here is a helpful guest post on depression among pastors written by friend and pastor, Michael Thompson. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important issue Mike!
Thom Rainer recently posted an article entitled "5 reasons pastors get depressed (and why they don’t talk about it)."
In that article, Rainer listed 5 causes of pastors' depression:
1. Spiritual warfare
2. The reality of pastoral leadership
3. A sense of inadequacy
4. Critics and bullies
5. Loneliness.
Though there was a general call to pray for pastors (which I do affirm), I would like to present more specific actions laity may take to relieve or prevent this depression.
Spiritual Warfare
As a lay person, please understand there are some things that will occur in your life and church that are a direct result of spiritual warfare. There may be times, for example, that your thinking becomes totally negative toward your pastor. Perhaps your pastor did not back your preferred program or preferred worship style.
If you are consumed with negativity over such things perhaps your program or worship style have become more important to you than the debt of love owed to one another.
If your view of your pastor turns totally negative two things may be going on. First, you may need to learn to fight over the right things. If your pastor denies the Trinity or the resurrection, a negative response is warranted. However, not every conflict should result in a fight to the bitter end.
Secondly, if your view of your pastor has turned completely negative, your mindset may be a result of spiritual warfare. One of the primary activities of our enemy is deception. It is likely that a completely negative view of your pastor, church, or church leader is being supercharged by the enemy. The enemy provokes us to turn non-essential issues into assured mutual destruction. When disagreements arise, Satan may hook your pride or insecurity in such a way that you are quick to blame others rather than carefully observing yourself and the circumstances.
Practically speaking, then, when your view turns totally negative, pause and ask God to remove negative, demonic-originated thoughts toward others from your mind. Ask God to help you see that person with whom you disagree with His eyes and perspective. Engage in warfare prayer BEFORE you rant about such things that cannot be unwritten or un-spoken.
Reality of Pastoral Leadership
Have you ever read the job description of a pastor? If not, I would encourage you to get ahold of one. Then ask yourself whether it is possible for one person to do all the things well that we have dropped in the lap of our pastors. Think of yourself following through with that same job description.
Increasingly, pastors receive job descriptions that include the duty of providing a clear, compelling vision for the church’s future. In addition to his ability to cast vision, the pastor may be required to provide management, including the oversight of staff, volunteer leaders, and sitting as a member of every committee and board, this, in addition to the Scripture's instruction of pastoral duty to rightly divide the Word of God.
With these things in mind, laity might help their pastor succeed by giving him permission to work out of his strengths. In areas in which your pastor is less skilled or gifted, you could partner with your pastor and encourage others to do likewise.
A Sense of Inadequacy
In a recent conversation, a pastor friend confessed his feelings of inadequacy. Uncertain of the next step to take in his church plant, he found himself growing weary due to a seemingly lack of recent progress and growth. In response, I shared that after serving more than 25 years as a pastor, I often feel inadequate to the task. However, a feeling of inadequacy could be seen as a sign of humility. If on the other hand pastors are expected to over perform, pretending that every area of a church ministry should be a strength, shame and paralyzing inadequacy is certain to follow.
One of the ways you could encourage your pastors is to let them know that inadequacy in certain areas is not a problem, if he or she is humble and permission giving. After all, a pastor’s inadequacy in certain areas is what allows you as a lay person the honor of serving God in the areas of your strength.
Critics and Bullies
One of the most grievous things pastors encounter frequently is criticism and manipulation in the form of ungodly speech. Every pastor (and every parishioner) must display the required humility to receive feedback.
Ungodly criticism often occurs within the church context for two primary reasons. First, parishioners fight about the wrong things. There are right things over which we are called to be critical. Again, if your pastor denies the Trinity or the resurrection of Jesus, I would expect and even urge upheaval. Paul, in 1 Corinthians, expressed gladness that there was a dispute because it signaled that someone was attempting to stand for what is right. However, in my experiences, most church fights are about non-essential matters. They are called non-essential matters because no one’s salvation or walk with God will be affected by non-essential decisions (like which church accounting software to use).
Second, ungodly criticism occurs when people become critical. This is especially true of those who believe they should have more say so in church matters because they know better or have been members longer than most. To these entitled, I would suggest they express love toward the pastor and others while offering but not forcing their opinion. Earn your pastors trust by your godly attitude and humble service. You will often find (if your pastor is godly) that he or she will not only welcome your input but actively seek it out. This is especially true if you have proven yourself trustworthy, which includes avoiding gossip and slander. On the other hand, pastors avoids politicians who they know are sabotaging their efforts in secret. And they do really know.
Loneliness
Loneliness often results from the truth that few understand the pastor’s world and experiences as well as other pastors. When serving as a solo pastor, it can be even more lonely without daily peer contact.
So, what can you do? Be a safe and trusted person who keeps confidences and invite your pastor and family to dinner. Please do not do this out of obligation. Pastors can see through that.
One of my dearest friends and a member of my former church spent time with me, helping me with various projects around my house. He and his wife often invited us to dinner at his place. And it was not out of obligation. We talked, guns, sports, construction ideas just like friends do. And when I opened up to him, he and his wife earnestly prayed for me, offering honest feedback as a trusted friend and advisor.
The other thing this true friend did was to actively confront those who wanted to fault find behind my back. He was not blindly loyal to me. He was loyal to God’s Word which forbids speech among believers that fails to strengthen the Church, the Bride that Jesus Christ loves so much.
My prayer is that through this article you have gained some insight into the current challenges involved in pastoral and congregational relationships. Relationships can be challenging. God has brought together a people with diverse perspectives, skills, giftings, and passions to bring saving faith to the world. Our relationships with one another can be a catalyst toward the advancement of our mission or be its greatest hindrance.
Pastor Mike Thompson MSE, MDiv, DMin Student
Cell 715-661-3254
pm.fefc@gmail.com
Michael Thompson has served as a pastor with the Evangelical Free Church of America since 2002. He has served as a mentor to pastors, a ministry consultant, and has planted church ministry centers and theological programs in Minnesota and Wisconsin.
